My thoughts about ‘My Violent Child’

Such a massive response to the programme and what saddened me but didn’t surprise me was how many people are suffering with a violent child. This is a situation that happens to thousands and it has been hidden for a long time.

Many of you have commented that you feel judged as parents and that’s a hard place to get stuck at. The difficulty is that if you stay feeling judged then nothing will change. You still have to deal with your child. All of you have spoken about the love you have for your children which is wonderful. However that doesn’t mean you have to put up with being hit.

We cannot change the past but we can make it work for us. The one thing you know without a doubt is what doesn’t work. So think about doing something different. If what doesn’t work is trying to reason with them or to control them like Bobbi in the programme then walk away, like she’s learnt to do with JJ. He was very clearly telling her what to do but her love for him was blocking her listening.

For Tracy, she clearly said that it was easier for her to have Franklin occupied – this meant he was missing out on her attention. That was also backed up by his Dad not taking any notice. Franklin also was very astute in knowing what he needed.

It might be worth asking your child when they’re calm, not so much about why they’re behaving in this way but what do they need.

If you’re willing to really listen and to be prepared to do something different then who knows things might change for you too.

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